Fear

What is it that makes us afraid? The fear of rejection, the fear of getting hurt, the fear of being different, the fear of being sneered at, the fear of not being enough.
How do these fears even conceive themselves within us? I suppose from an almost psychological p.o.v, we have become conditioned to it, and to an extent, I'd agree. It's almost as if we act in the way society wants us to, we get to a certain age and it suddenly becomes inappropriate to act out in public, we can't sing, we can't dance around to the music at a public event, we can't jump in puddles. and do you know what? Bullshit, why shouldn't we have a laugh? My boyfriend and I went to see the christmas lights switch and to see the fireworks and suddenly it started to rain. To begin with, like the rest of the crowd, we sought shelter under the buildings in the city square, but then we kinda looked at each other. fuck. it. and we went back outside into the pouring rain. and next to us there was a group of around 3 30-40 year old woman, dancing and singing along to the radio playing, and I smiled, cos fuck it, that's what everyone should be doing. On our otherside when we turned around there was a wee girl who was bouncing around, singing along and dancing and jumping in every puddle closest to us she could find. And yes, she did kick water up my leg which was kinda cold....and uncalled for, but for those few minutes, we wanted to be back at that age, where we didn't have to worry, where we could get away with that without a bunch of other people in the crowd thinking that we were weird or that we were on something. And maybe we would be on something. It's called happiness, and hell, life's too short, why shouldn't we?! Why should we act all straight faced and 'our age'?? Oh yeah, because society's dictated to us that as soon as we're a certain age, we have to become entirely responsible, we're not allowed public fun, that has to be saved only for special occasions. Fuck. The. Norm.
What about when it comes to telling someone something. What is it that stops us then? Are we afraid to say it? or are we afraid of what's going to follow? We have control of the situation until we pose onto someone else, something that requires an answer, a reaction. And what if the reaction isn't what we're looking for? It's ultimately the fear of that reaction which causes us to keep our mouths shut, because no reaction is better than the wrong one. "I'm not scared to tell you, I'm afraid of the silence that will follow". But ultimately, we don't know how anybody is going to react, so why don't we take the risk, some would say its better to know that to continue a lie. And why shouldn't that be the case? If the reaction isn't the one we want then we figure out the best way to continue and work out what needs to be done next.
Maybe I've just rambled for a good few hundred words, but maybe somewhere something I have said will have made sense, and next time, you won't just freeze up, you won't be afraid of the reaction, you won't be afraid to let yourself act your shoe size and not your age. Because sometimes, those little moments of immaturity are what we need to relieve just a little bit of that stress and bring a little bit of your innocence and happiness back. And lets face it, that can never be a bad thing.